I’m embarking on a new chapter of my life in an area that has remained largely unchanged for the last decade. I’ve also heard that change attracts change, and this too has proven to be true; as I find myself describing and distilling a number of areas of my world into a single hyphenate: in-flux.
A bit about me: In my personal life, I can be easily destabilized, thrown-off (another hyphenate) and unbalanced. I seek security, like to make dependable choices and kill myself to be able to prove that I am surrounded by permanence. The yin to that yang is I thrive on stress and am remarkably motivated by the fear of the unknown. In my professional life, I’m known for my creative choices and (calculated) risks–in short, I guess, to the outside observer I may look like an enigma. So…
This current state of “in-flux” has me in an interesting conundrum–walking a razor sharp edge of taking the “hassle me” gene to a masochistic level and seeing just how far afield I can go. It’s also been a surreal experience–almost out-of-body–to get out of my comfort zone and “ride the tide” of entering the unknown, feeling insecure, doing something that might be considered taboo to some, but knowing these are the right things for ME, so proceeding anyway. It also has my creative juices flowing in a way I have never experienced before–like every synapse is firing at twice it’s normal speed which is mitigating the fear, for now.
Sounds selfish and scary… Right?
Maybe it is.
Perhaps you have a friend or relative at a similar crossroads right now and you’re observing with jealousy, pride, distain or (even better) indifference. Perhaps you’re wondering, even slightly bitterly, what can/should I do for him or her? A gift list seemed a bit crass (especially if you hate their guts at the present moment) but here are suggestions and things you should know based on what my experience has been thus far, feeling like I am the piece of crap that the world revolves around…
1. Tell me you love me – This doesn’t mean you agree with me, you think I’m making the right choices or I’ve picked the right hair color. It just means you love me. Words matter.
2. Tell me you’re not going anywhere – Again, still pretty straight forward, you’ve been there before and you’ll be there again.
3. Listen / don’t judge – I don’t need to hear whether you think I’m making a huge mistake / ruining my life / my kids life / my career / my finances … You get the idea. Unless…
4. I ask for your opinion. Then all bets are off, I asked for it.
5. If you think I’m fabulous, you can tell me that too.
6. If I cry and you want to too, that’s cool… Crying alone sucks.
7. Sugar – If you want to add ice cream into the mix, do that…
8. I want you to know you will get sick of talking about this and I’m sorry in advance. I will have no perspective of how much and how boring talking about my life will get. Again, apologies.
9. You are in my inner sanctum. You matter to me.
10. It goes both ways – When/ if something like this happens to you, I will be there for you… Promise.