I have a difficult confession to make.
One I am ashamed about.
But one that I think is important.
I have been on multiple sides of the bullying issue.
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Category: Gratitude
Reminder Reflections: 8 Lessons Remembered From Last Year
Since July happens to be the start of my “new year,” summer has come to be a reflection point for me. As I reflect on the last year, I have to say as I get older I have gotten better at celebrating and being celebrated. I just finished a business book about cultivating teams and collaboration. One of the concepts that struck me was the idea that people need to reminded more than they need to be instructed (props to Patrick Lencioni).
I don’t feel much wiser than I was thirty or even 365 days ago (or that much older, for the record thankyouverymuch); but I do feel reminded of a few things that I may have lost sight of for a bit.
Mental Health Awareness, Not Just October and a New Cause Calendar
It’s hard to believe that October is already here. I find the rest of the year always goes so fast after Halloween. This past year I decided to forgo many of the usual get-togethers and celebrations I have held in the past to focus on more personal matters.
I have posted less, trying to focus on quality not quantity; what has been happening in my life has had a lasting and permanent impact on my life, so that influenced my writing and point-of-view, prompting me to adjust the look, feel of my site a few months ago and resolve to a new site mantra: today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.
So the in honor of Mental Health Awareness Week—a cause near and dear to me—I have added a new page, an Awareness Calendar, listing all (or many) of the days, weeks and months dedicated to social advocacy and social responsibly for a variety of causes. This lives in a new section called Resources where Anniversaries, Birthstones and annual Holidays still reside and new ones may surface (stay tuned).
Trading Likes for Love
Not everyone is going to like you. *They* say that’s true. That’s the lesson we learn in early childhood at the sandbox, on the playground, when the birthday party invitations come (or don’t).
You can’t please everyone.
Same idea, different packaging when justifying life choices to family, maybe satisfying coworkers or bosses, how you dress, who you love, where you live… those decisions will not always get the approval of everyone all the time.
Happy Birthday: Being Lucky in Love
I woke up this morning officially another year older, hopefully wiser and definitely grateful. The week-long build-up to today has made me feel so loved and appreciated it is beyond words. I started off believing that this was not a year to celebrate. That because personally, it was a “difficult year” and things were “challenging” I wanted to let this occasion pass silently, swiftly and simply ignore it.
Instead here is what happened:
Some Gifts Leave You Speechless
My daughter was almost two when I became pregnant with my son. She was curious and fiery, sassy and sharp, creative and snuggly, and (although I may be biased) strikingly beautiful with her fair porcelain complexion that could sprinkle with freckles in even a drop of sunlight, red curls framing her face and hazel blue eyes.
All of these things were glorious. But my very favorite thing about my daughter is her kindness and her compassion (now I’m not saying all day, everyday–she is still human–and her brother may dispute this claim, but when it happens it is truly spectacular).
When my son arrived, it was earlier than expected, almost six weeks in fact. So my then-husband and I were in a bit of a scramble the morning I went into labor. We had not planned for his arrival this early… What to do with the baby (our daughter, in this case), so I was off to the hospital solo. And as I left the apartment, I could hear her crying “mama” as I entered the elevator.
40 things I’ve Learned Over 40 Years
July is less than 90 minutes away. As a kid the beginning of July was like the countdown to the New Year at midnight. Every day until the twelfth I would get giddier, more excited, convinced that each year would make me smarter, prettier, more adept.
One year, I think it was when I turned five, I remember waking up and running to the easel standing in my bedroom and drawing a flower with crayons. Armed with the certainty that because I went to sleep a four-year-old and woke up a much savvier five, I would craft a more perfect, more precise flower. That drawing, framed and dated, would hang in my mothers’ hallway for years.
So now, on the cusp of 40, I am not going to wait until the morning of my birthday to feel older and wiser. I am in a reflective mood and decided to start to ponder what I have learned over the last four decades, and I chose (appropriately) 40 things. I wasn’t totally sure I could come up with that many things worthy of note–perhaps not all are to everyone–but they have special meaning to me.
So, for those who care to partake, the 40 most meaningful things I’ve learned in the last 40 years. Maybe I’ll come up with a completely different set by 50.
Taxicab Confessions: Birthday Edition
I was in the taxi with my kids yesterday, on our way to the movies. We were having a conversation about, of all things, my birthday. They both know how old I’m about to turn, 40–or as my daughter likes to say, “the big 4-0” and my son likes to remind me “that’s four decades, mom”–and they feel “it’s a big one.” So in the cab, they were debating the virtues of different celebrations, ideas and trips we should consider. This has been a rough year, as you may have previously read–and it’s hard to get up the gusto to want to celebrate in a manner that’s out of the ordinary right now. My answer was “it’s just a number, like any other…lets just do what we’ve always done.”
And then I saw a post from a friend the night before.
Subway Acts Of Kindness
As I stepped on the train yesterday morning, the car was nearly empty. There was a striking woman in a dove gray dress–clearly new–sitting in the middle of the train and two empty seats next to her. As is polite subway etiquette, when possible, I left an empty seat between us, and sat down.
By the time we got to the next express stop, the train was filling up, and a man sat between us. He had a bag and a cup of coffee. He started fidgeting with his earbuds to get into “commuter mode”–coffee, music, in transit. Well, things weren’t going so well, the cord from his earphones got tangled around the cup, and before we left the station, the cup became unbalanced, fell out of his grip the lid disengaged and spilled all over the dove gray dress.
Five Days of Gratitude c/o Facebook
I rarely engage in Facebook chain mail. You know exactly what I’m talking about: Like this or Share that; Post what color your whatever are; Tell your friends about your whosiwhatsit and tag the eighty people in your wedding party to do the same… No thanks. But recently I saw friends posting about the Gratitude Challenge.
A Gratitude Challenge? Gratitude lists? I love making gratitude lists. I love reading gratitude lists. I even do them on this blog… Holy s#%@! This is Faceplace chain-crap I could get into, even read without cynicism, sarcasm possibly even passive eye-rolling? I’m really not this sour, but I do feel like the weight of empowerment messages gets diluted when you see one every five seconds and it’s totally tainted when used or misdirected for unsavory purposes. That happens A LOT on social media.
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The Gifting Whisperer 