Not everyone is going to like you. *They* say that’s true. That’s the lesson we learn in early childhood at the sandbox, on the playground, when the birthday party invitations come (or don’t).
You can’t please everyone.
Same idea, different packaging when justifying life choices to family, maybe satisfying coworkers or bosses, how you dress, who you love, where you live… those decisions will not always get the approval of everyone all the time.
One year, I think it was when I turned five, I remember waking up and running to the easel standing in my bedroom and drawing a flower with crayons. Armed with the certainty that because I went to sleep a four-year-old and woke up a much savvier five, I would craft a more perfect, more precise flower. That drawing, framed and dated, would hang in my mothers’ hallway for years.
So now, on the cusp of 40, I am not going to wait until the morning of my birthday to feel older and wiser. I am in a reflective mood and decided to start to ponder what I have learned over the last four decades, and I chose (appropriately) 40 things. I wasn’t totally sure I could come up with that many things worthy of note–perhaps not all are to everyone–but they have special meaning to me.
So, for those who care to partake, the 40 most meaningful things I’ve learned in the last 40 years. Maybe I’ll come up with a completely different set by 50.
This is the longest spate I’ve not posted on my blog. It’s so funny, the reason I usually stop writing is not lack of ideas or things to say, but too much to say. It becomes overwhelming and I don’t know where to start. Much has happened already this year, some I have shared and some I don’t, well, know where to start… Some seems almost moot now. I sent my kids to camp: baseball, theater and technology (yes, technology). We were all pretty busy, so no vacations were planned although we did go on a few day trips: Coney Island, the Ripley’s Museum and Madame Tussaud’s.
But the crux of my summer boils down into better understanding three primary themes: Forgiveness, Authenticity and Faith.
Once again this month has been very busy, leaving me little time to myself, making it hard to find a moment to write. That is until this past holiday weekend when I was sans husband or children in our house—a house, I might add, I had NEVER once spent a night alone in six years we lived there. Check the box on that bucket list now…
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I ran into an old friend on the subway the other day. He and his partner have a two-year-old little girl, and we started talking about the different types of parenting challenges we face at different stages. As we continued to chat from 96th Street to Times Square, we both agreed how much easier life would have been if only someone had clued us in to a few things before high school.
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It’s already Valentines Day, and as I pondered what to get my husband I wanted to consider some of the subtle nuances of our union…while still being playful and fun. We’re in our seventh year of marriage, and I’m not superstitious (ok, I’m not THAT superstitious) but best to be proactive. I was thinking a good idea might be to consider ideas that would scratch each others itch, so to speak… and heck, it would totally be a gift for the two of us if I did it right. I am a bit tardy posting this, so I can tell you I did in fact get him one of the items here–I won’t say which, that’s a bit intimate–but in case you’re in need of some last-minute ideas, a few of these are DIY friendly and pretty fast(ish).
Happy Valentines day. Xo
my Dad and me circa 1989 (or ’90), Anguilla, BWI
The parent / child relationship is one of beauty and complexity. I am reminded lately of the added layers this bond must sustain when daughters start experimenting with their freedom and sexuality in adolescence. I won’t go into why I am reminded–those aren’t my stories to tell and I believe they are sacred to those individuals. What I will say is my family is near and dear to me and I am a mother and a wife. Forgive me for sharing the obvious, but before becoming a mother or a wife I was (and still am) a daughter and did a fair share of experimenting and testing bonds and bounds. My circumstances were not common, but they were not unique–nor were they often discussed until years after some damage had been done. Perhaps someday I’ll write about that (maybe, I’m still debating).
Based on my prior posts about psychics and tarot readings it should come as no surprise that I believe in astrological calendars and their meanings to some degree. For most things (maybe even all things), I believe a bit of both science and art creates a well-balanced diet that doesn’t over or under serve what each side has to offer.
I don’t quite get the idea of having a cyber-boyfriend or girlfriend. How do you “date” or have a romantic relationship with someone who you don’t physically see in person? Full disclosure, I also don’t fully trust the process of online dating for myself, but I never had to either… filtering and select a potential partner or love interest from a thumbnail and bio–especially considering the looming prospect that they could be totally scamming you (hello… ever watch Catfish?).
The kids in the ocean at Coney Island: Summer 2013
The summer is almost over. It’s hard to believe Labor Day weekend is just two days off in the distance and all I my blog has to show for it is a handful of posts. I had grand plans…
The summer is a meaningful time for me: family birthdays and annual celebrations, my anniversary and, of course, excursions and getaways. Yet every time I meant to sit down and capture it for my blog, I was distracted or something else came up and it no longer seemed timely. But now, dear reader, as summer’s precious moments are coming to a close, it seems all the more necessary to remember the highlights, gifts and surprises of Summer 2013.
The Gifting Whisperer 