Forgiveness is tricky. It’s very difficult to get from a place of anger and resentment to forgiveness. The best way I know how to forgive is to try to find empathy for the respective person or people–attempting to put myself in their shoes and see the world from their point-of-view. This is, of course, a process and it takes time, patience and fortitude (and the amount of time is commensurate with the level of resentment), but it’s usually worked for me.
With children, apologies are so simple. Usually a grown up–a parent or teacher, for example–say when it is called for: “say you’re sorry for hurting Johnny’s feelings.” Oh, OK. And then it happens, perhaps begrudgingly or with a pout, and 1-2-6 it’s over. Everyone is back at the sand table playing next to one another until the next infraction.
I saw a Facebook update today that inspired this post. It was really simple: a message addressed to the posters’ 16 year old self. That got me thinking… Experience really is so illuminating, so what would I say to my younger self with the benefit of these last few decades of knowledge, mistakes, heartbreak, fumbles and successes? Of course this can’t benefit my younger self–that ship has sailed–but who might this be of an even modest interest to…? Full disclosure (I do say that a lot, don’t I?), as coincidence would have it, I too have found myself posing this question lately as nostalgia, womanhood, parenting and the regular course of life mash-up into a frothy mix of investigation.
Valentines Day can be celebrated a number of different ways and it’s meaning and purpose changes as our lives and roles evolve. This does not diminish the significance, but it does change the context, so I thought I would share a few different approaches to Valentines Day that may spark some ideas, certainly, but mainly shows how Valentines Day has morphed over time and circumstance for me.
There comes a time in every relationship when you decide (hopefully together) that an upcoming holiday or anniversary gift should be a joint gift. The trick on this one is to not loose sight of the romance and fall prey to the too practical, especially for an anniversary. Understandably, sometimes the reason for a joint gift is to buy something you need as a couple or a family but try to find something that connects you both… yes even in a blender.