With children, apologies are so simple. Usually a grown up–a parent or teacher, for example–say when it is called for: “say you’re sorry for hurting Johnny’s feelings.” Oh, OK. And then it happens, perhaps begrudgingly or with a pout, and 1-2-6 it’s over. Everyone is back at the sand table playing next to one another until the next infraction.
Ever say that (even to yourself)? Say it recently? I’ve found myself having a couple of these head-and-heart numbing realizations over the last few weeks, and it’s never easy. Instinctually I want to fight it…fight the idea that I’ve derailed or wasted time, money, effort and/or emotional brain-power on something–be it a person, thing, or situation–that was ultimately for naught when the better part of valor would have been to “cut my losses” and get out.
I watch the Pre-shows, the red carpets, the awards shows themselves, I cry, laugh, eye-roll and yell at the TV (in the same way men do during football season) at the acceptance speeches and winner disclosures and I absolutely watch the fashion wrap-ups. Now it’s not every esoteric one. I limit it to the Golden Globes, The SAG Awards, The Grammys, The Emmys, The Oscars and, of course, The Tonys. The Grande Dame of all of these–I actually have two but Grande Dames but not everyone agrees with me, major props if you can guess my #2–is The Oscars.
If you’re a regular or semi-reader of Gifting Whisperer, you may be left wondering “what the heck” while reading a few of my last posts. I mean, they had a more personal tone–not that my other posts aren’t reflective and personal, they are. But where were the gift list? What about the pictures of stuff to buy? What about the connection to commerce? What’s up with that?
I’ve been pretty helpless this week–at the mercy of my family and friends’ kindness to take care of me–to literally feed and dress me. Luckily, it’s been temporary and I’m doubly fortunate that I have a husband, family and friends who are willing and able to do such things for me.
I’ve been contemplating transformations a lot lately. There are ones that take time, courage, wisdom and energy to step into–and sometimes we do a dance stepping out of them until we can call them our own. Then there are the ones that are sudden, perhaps because circumstance foists them upon us or we force immediate change. Regardless, transformation can be scary, daunting, invigorating and inspiring…not only us, but those around us.
I saw a Facebook update today that inspired this post. It was really simple: a message addressed to the posters’ 16 year old self. That got me thinking… Experience really is so illuminating, so what would I say to my younger self with the benefit of these last few decades of knowledge, mistakes, heartbreak, fumbles and successes? Of course this can’t benefit my younger self–that ship has sailed–but who might this be of an even modest interest to…? Full disclosure (I do say that a lot, don’t I?), as coincidence would have it, I too have found myself posing this question lately as nostalgia, womanhood, parenting and the regular course of life mash-up into a frothy mix of investigation.